What is marriage and relationship counselling?
Couples counselling is a specialised field in psychology that aims to repair relationships undergoing conflict due to financial issues, distrust, infidelity and loss of a child. Relationship counselling does not always deal with two people in an intimate relationship but can be between siblings and parent and child. Some forms of mediation can be between friends and colleagues.
Dr Bosman’s role is to join the couple and journey with them through the many obstacles that they have in their relationship. In a non-judgmental and impartial way, he will help couples to create new bonding experiences with their partner. There are reasons for your behaviour and your partner’s behaviour that makes sense, and Dr Bosman can help you and your partner uncover these reasons.
What significant issues do couples face?
- Not feeling loved
- Lack of emotional closeness
- Constant arguments
- Trust issues
- Lack of communication
- Lack of sexual intimacy
- Money problems
Usually, couples seeking couples therapy are no longer satisfied with the state of their relationship. Over years, people can gradually lose the initial excitement and romance that they experienced at the start of their relationship. The lack of their partner being available to them and being the person that they can always turn to for emotional support and validation, may lead them to seek this fulfilment outside of the relationship.
Why is it so important to build secure attachment between partners?
When you experience secure attachment in your life you have someone that you can count on, someone you can turn to in times of trouble and someone who gives you confidence in your ability to grow and explore.
How can a therapist help build secure attachment?
Couples can be helped to manage their emotions better, to improve their processing of information, to communicate better, and to understand themselves better.
How can Dr Bosman help?
Through a specialised technique called Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT), Dr Bosman can improve the bond between two people in a relationship. EFCT is a type of therapy that makes sense of rigid interactions and unhealthy behavioural patterns between two people in a relationship. The essence of EFCT utilises systemic and humanistic principles to strengthen the couple’s bond. EFCT encourages people to become more emotionally accessible and responsible and engage with one another more.
As part of this process, Dr Bosman will first see the couple together for the first time and then follow that up with one individual session each. Thereafter he continues working with the couple for a recommended minimum of 8 sessions together. Some couples need more and some couples less time in therapy, and mostly marriage and relationship problems cannot be solved and the bond restored or strengthened in one or two therapy sessions.